Showing posts with label polyamory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label polyamory. Show all posts

Saturday, January 28, 2017

SHARE THE LOVE: Polyamory For Penis/P**sy (by Lea Mishell)

SHARE THE LOVE
"Polyamory For Penis/P**sy"
by Lea Mishell







Hello Loves!! If you've been following along with my journey, thank you. Trust me, it has been QUITE the rollercoaster ride!

I've decided to once again allow the Universe to guide my Love my way. It worked before when I found Hubby. I believe it'll happen again if it hasn't already. In the meantime, in my observations and interactions as I am continuously educating myself on all things polyamorous, I am a member of a few polyamory-centered Facebook groups. In one of the co-ed groups, we've made it clear that we are not a swingers group and no nudity will be allowed. However, from time to time, a new member will come in, skipping past the pinned post, unknowingly breaking rules left and right. I cannot speak for anyone but myself but we are not polyamorous just for the sake of sex. We are not thirsty horny desperados out for the next notch on our belts. You can't build love overnight. Relationships take time. Sex can be instantaneous so if sex is your first thought when considering polyamory, stop. Clearly, you're not ready. Polyamory isn't about sex. Polyamory is about loving anyone you want without hurting others to do it. Polyamory is about honesty and transparency amongst all partners, romantic or not. But I digress. I know it will be a while before polyamory is as normal as homosexuality and same-sex marriage but to falsely associate love with sex doesn't help those of us that are genuinely and legitimately looking for love.


If you've read the past two articles (“How to Date a Married Woman” and “How to Date a Married Couple”), and you have a genuine interest in living polyamorously, I hope my column is helping you figure things out. Feel free to ask questions.


For more polyamory terminology, check out the MORE THAN TWO website: https://www.morethantwo.com/polyglossary.html

If you would like to submit a question to SHARE THE LOVE, send an email to BlacktopiaBusiness@gmail.com with SHARE THE LOVE QUESTION in the subject line.






PeaceLoveHappiness
Lm...

Polyamorous and striving to be Permanently Positive, Lea Mishell is a wife, mother of 3, and an author of urban fairy tales and erotica. Her works can be found at www.leanpub.com/b/TheLeaMishellCollection

SHARE THE LOVE is published exclusively for Blacktopia.org

© 2016-2017 Lea Mishell. All rights reserved.


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Thursday, December 22, 2016

SHARE THE LOVE: Polyamory is NOT Polygamy (by Lea Mishell)

SHARE THE LOVE
Polyamory is NOT Polygamy
by Lea Mishell

Hello Loves!! If you've been following along with my journey, thank you. Trust me, it has been QUITE the rollercoaster ride!

As a woman striving to be Permanently Positive, I am aware that I am setting myself up to receive negativity. One of those sources of “not-so-happy” vibes is the assumption that polyamory equals ALL things that start with the word “poly”, specifically polygamy, polygyny, and polyandry. When I speak of my desire and ability to love multiple people, I am pointing out that I am POLYAMOROUS. If I said I wanted a second husband, we have moved over to polygamy (multiple marriages). Just for further clarification: polyandry is when a woman has multiple husbands, polgyny is when a man has multiple wives. The only thing these words have in common is their “poly” prefix.

Another misconception I've seen so far is that it's the man's idea to practice polyamory. As if a woman would never want multiple lovers, male and/or female. Hello!! The woman writing this column is the person that introduced polyamory into my relationship. And I did it because I could no longer deny the fact that my husband and I have the capacity to love other women without diminishing our love for each other. When I came out as bisexual, I wasn't young and single. I was mature and married. Mature enough to wait until I was with a man comfortable knowing that no matter what anyone thought, love me or not, this is me. And married to a man open-minded enough to allow and encourage me to search for love in addition to him. That selflessness let me know that he, too, is polyamorous and he deserved to be just as happy as he was allowing me to be.

I love my husband to death but I am in no need of and I'm not in search of a second husband. If I do acquire an additional spouse (which pushes ME into polygamy), it would be a wife now that same sex marriage is legal. That and I've never had a full-fledged relationship with a woman. I haven't shared the ups and downs of my struggle to become a full-time author with the WOMAN I love, not counting female friends. Only Hubby has truly seen my daily struggle of wanting wishing waiting for anyone and everyone to love my SistaGirlz. I'm still giving all of my love to Hubby but someday I'll share my love with Wifey, too.

If you would like to submit a question to SHARE THE LOVE, send an email to BlacktopiaBusiness@gmail.com with SHARE THE LOVE QUESTION in the subject line.





PeaceLoveHappiness
Lm...

Polyamorous and striving to be PERMANENTLY POSITIVE, Lea Mishell is a wife, mother of 3, and an author of urban fairy tales and erotica. Her works can be found at www.leanpub.com/b/TheLeaMishellCollection

SHARE THE LOVE is published exclusively for Blacktopia.org


© 2016 Lea Mishell. All rights reserved.

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Share The Love: "Living My Truth" (by Lea Mishell)




SHARE THE LOVE
Living In My Truth
by Lea Mishell

Hello Loves!! First let me say thank you to those of you that have been supporting any and everything I've been doing. Whether it's the lessons interwoven into my books or the journey I've been sharing here in this column, I know I am blessed to help uplift EVERYONE and I want ALL OF US to be happy! As you know, writing is one of my passions so I am thankful for this opportunity to share my love (pun intended lol) with all of you!

One thing I've been adjusting to is being transparent in my non-polyamorous relationships. Prior to my marriage, although my thoughts were polyamorous, my actions were not always the most honorable. On the surface, I looked like your typical heterosexual single mother, doing the best she can without a man of her own. During that time in my life, men were simply a physical release from the stress of my life. Since I covered everything else financially/mentally/socially/spiritually for myself, I didn't want or need a boyfriend when all I needed was sexual maintenance. I wasn't out of the closet yet so no one knew of the occasional lady friend. But I was extremely uncomfortable! Part of me knew that something wasn't right! Why wasn't I happy with my many loves? Because they were my secrets and, for some, I was their side piece. It was THAT part of me that was truly unhappy. The part of me that wasn't being fully open and honest!

If you always tell the truth, you never have to explain yourself when questions are asked and accusations are thrown about. Since openly admitting that “Yes, I love women”, I am fully and publicly exploring a side of me that I had kept hidden. Just that admission lifted a weight from my shoulders! One of my career goals is to inspire and motivate others. By sharing my story, I hope I will inspire someone to go for their own happiness.


If you would like to submit a question to SHARE THE LOVE, send an email to BlacktopiaBusiness@gmail.com with SHARE THE LOVE QUESTION in the subject line.

PeaceLoveHappiness
Lm...

Polyamorous and striving to be Permanently Positive, Lea Mishell is a wife, mother of 3, and an author of urban fairy tales and erotica. Her works can be found at www.leanpub.com/b/TheLeaMishellCollection

SHARE THE LOVE is published exclusively for Blacktopia.org





Connect with Lea Mishell
Author, Columnist, Publisher, Motivator:
about.me/leamishellink 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SistaGirlzAuthorLeaMishell
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SistaGirlzBooks
Blog: https://LeaMishellAuthor.wordpress.com
Smashwords Interview:   https://www.smashwords.com/interview/LeaMishell
Smashwords profile page: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/LeaMishell
Books: https://leanpub.com/b/TheLeaMishellCollection
SHARE THE LOVE (polyamory column): http://www.blacktopia.org/
Paperback campaign: https://www.gofundme.com/SistaGirlzPaperback

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Friday, July 29, 2016

Share The Love: Love Me As I Am (by Lea Mishell)

SHARE THE LOVE
"Love Me As I Am"
by Lea Mishell




Long ago, I proclaimed myself to be a Professional Procrastinator so anyone that knows me wasn't surprised that I came out as bisexual just a few years ago.  I didn't mean to wait that long but, to be honest, I was afraid that I would lose my family and friends if they knew the truth about me. Thankfully most of them KNEW I was bi (one friend said she knew I was "girl friendly") so I continued happily living my life.  It would be another year before I proclaimed myself as polyamorous.  The simplest way to explain polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple intimate relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.  Honesty and transparency should be in ALL relationships but when Hubby and I date a polyamorous woman, I can rest assured that she knows the rules of polyamory and won't disrespect me by trying to sleep with my husband without my knowledge and consent. I've found poly women are more concerned about sexual protection than the straight men I used to date.  Maybe I should've been poly sooner? LOL

The problem with being bisexual but only dating women is explaining to men that I don't want them. Yeah, before Hubby, I was strictly dickly but I found my Him.  Now I want my Her. As far as dating goes, I'm a Lesbian with a Husband. When men learn that I'm bi, they assume I'm down to fuck him and his woman. NO. I want my own woman and, if she chooses to, she can be with me and Hubby. Sorry Fellas. Yes, I'm polyamorous and bisexual but I won't sleep with you.

Another misconception about polyamory is the assumption that I'm a swinger. NO. Although there are polyamorous swingers, we are not sleeping with THAT many people. I just want him and her. Hubby just wants me and her (or his own girlfriend if mine doesn't want to date him). She'll want me, possibly Hubby and whoever she wants. It's that simple.

Now for those of you turning up your nose at the idea of sharing your mate with others. If your mate is cheating on you or if you're cheating on your mate, not only are y'all sharing partners but EVERYONE is getting hurt. Your relationships have no meaning because of your deceit! However, if you know you need more than one person to keep your life happy, why deny your happiness? Choose polyamory over cheating. Or be single. But don't hurt anyone for your own selfishness. You can't possibly be giving your all to anyone if you can't love them enough to be honest with them.




Polyamorous and striving to be Permanently Positive, Lea Mishell is a wife, mother of 3, and an author of urban fairy tales and erotica. Her works can be found at www.leanpub.com/b/TheLeaMishellCollection
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