Sunday, August 7, 2016

SHARE THE LOVE: Welcome to My Poly Life

Welcome to My Poly Life
by Lea Mishell

As Blacktopia's Polyamory Columnist, from time to time I may share my personal poly experiences to help guide those that may have never heard of polyamory or are curious to know more.  Please keep in mind that I'm still learning about this lifestyle so I'm not claiming that I'm an expert. I'm just a girl that likes girls and loves her Husband.

My husband and I are polyamorous and our marriage is open.  He dates women separately from me and, if we can ever agree on one, we'll date a woman together.  Neither of us are swingers and I don't date men.  Just the fact that I'm available isn't exactly making the ladies flock to me.  What's worse is that I'm getting MORE attention from men now that I'm advertising that I'm dating.  People usually assume I'm cheating on my Husband when, in fact, he and I are on the same dating websites.  One of the things I love about polyamory is the transparency. No secrets, no lies.  A LOT less stressful than my pre-married life.  If you recall from my "Side Lady or Side B**ch?" post, I admitted that I USED to dabble in infidelity.  However, I was single when I starred as the Other Woman so there was no one I personally had to lie to. In polyamory, I still don't have to lie and my relationship with my Husband grows deeper each day.  ALL relationships should have full honesty but not all of them do. You should definitely have transparency in a marriage but, again, not all of them do.

I expect to have the same or a similar connection with my/our girlfriend that I have with Hubby. Honesty. Love. A good sense of humor.  A need to seek out new adventures. A desire to travel the world.  In the years I have been with Hubby, I've grown more as a person while influencing him in return. My hope is that my/our future lady will grow with me/us. We'll learn things together. Bond, fall in love, grow old together. I'm not saying I'll marry her but even that's an option.

But first, I have to find her...

If you have any questions for me about polyamory, relationships or ANYTHING, drop a note to me at with "SHARE THE LOVE" in the subject line. 


Polyamorous and striving to be Permanently Positive, Lea Mishell is a wife, mother of 3, and an author of urban fairy tales and erotica. Her works can be found at

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