"Love Me As I Am"
by Lea Mishell
Long ago, I proclaimed myself to be a Professional Procrastinator so anyone that knows me wasn't surprised that I came out as bisexual just a few years ago. I didn't mean to wait that long but, to be honest, I was afraid that I would lose my family and friends if they knew the truth about me. Thankfully most of them KNEW I was bi (one friend said she knew I was "girl friendly") so I continued happily living my life. It would be another year before I proclaimed myself as polyamorous. The simplest way to explain polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple intimate relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Honesty and transparency should be in ALL relationships but when Hubby and I date a polyamorous woman, I can rest assured that she knows the rules of polyamory and won't disrespect me by trying to sleep with my husband without my knowledge and consent. I've found poly women are more concerned about sexual protection than the straight men I used to date. Maybe I should've been poly sooner? LOL
The problem with being bisexual but only dating women is explaining to men that I don't want them. Yeah, before Hubby, I was strictly dickly but I found my Him. Now I want my Her. As far as dating goes, I'm a Lesbian with a Husband. When men learn that I'm bi, they assume I'm down to fuck him and his woman. NO. I want my own woman and, if she chooses to, she can be with me and Hubby. Sorry Fellas. Yes, I'm polyamorous and bisexual but I won't sleep with you.
Another misconception about polyamory is the assumption that I'm a swinger. NO. Although there are polyamorous swingers, we are not sleeping with THAT many people. I just want him and her. Hubby just wants me and her (or his own girlfriend if mine doesn't want to date him). She'll want me, possibly Hubby and whoever she wants. It's that simple.
Now for those of you turning up your nose at the idea of sharing your mate with others. If your mate is cheating on you or if you're cheating on your mate, not only are y'all sharing partners but EVERYONE is getting hurt. Your relationships have no meaning because of your deceit! However, if you know you need more than one person to keep your life happy, why deny your happiness? Choose polyamory over cheating. Or be single. But don't hurt anyone for your own selfishness. You can't possibly be giving your all to anyone if you can't love them enough to be honest with them.
Polyamorous and striving to be Permanently Positive, Lea Mishell is a wife, mother of 3, and an author of urban fairy tales and erotica. Her works can be found at www.leanpub.com/b/TheLeaMishellCollection
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