by Lea Mishell
Something's not quite right. You sense that something is different about your mate. Maybe you're one of the lucky ones that gets the improved version of your lover only to see that effort being made for someone else. How is that lucky for you?! They weren't a full on asshole about it. They could've picked a stupid fight with you to give them the excuse to leave the house. Either way, you have the sinking feeling that your lover has another love elsewhere.
Now what do you do?! Do you gather evidence and confront your mate? Do you go off on them and have the mother of all blowouts? Or do you ask if you can join them...
Yes. That's right. I said it!
All of the tension, anger and anxiety that comes from cheating and being cheated on will never be good for anyone. As a person that believes in the power of Positivity, I try to rethink everything until everything is positive. Look at your situation differently. Your mate's other lover can be a benefit for you! Let your mate know that you know (or suspect) that he/she is involved with someone else and that you need to know why this other person is needed. You never know until you ask and you may find yourself in a new type of relationship. Your mate's friend could be everything you are and then some! He/she could be someone your mate can talk to without fear of judgment or they might do all of the freaky things you won't do! You won't know until you ask!
Now back to the other lover. Let's assume your mate reveals that in fact there is someone of interest but they haven't approached this new person because your mate wants you to know about them! What do you do? Listen quietly and put yourself in your mate's shoes to understand that although they love you, they need MORE. And you're only one person so why not share the work of keeping your mate happy? Who knows? Your mate's friend might like you too!! Do you know what that means?? You can have a new homie lover friend for yourself! Whether you want to involve yourself personally with your mate's lover is your choice but no matter what, your lover should feel comfortable enough to tell you anything and everything. And what kind of a relationship do you have if you can't tell your mate EVERYTHING?! Not a good one, in my opinion. Whether you are just dating or married, monogamous or polyamorous, honesty and trust are key to any relationship.
Polyamorous and striving to be Permanently Positive, Lea Mishell is a wife, mother at 3, and an author of urban fairy tales and erotica. Her works can be found at www.leanpub.com/b/TheLeaMishellCollection
For more information on ANYTHING Blacktopia related please feel free to e-mail us at BlacktopiaBusiness@Gmail.com
Speaking of "Sharing The Love" listen to the SIDE DUDE anthem of 2016 by Fa'Ness titled "I Already Know"! Check out the official video for the single here at this link https://youtu.be/3vzzDIJof6Q
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